Writing on '84

I've been back for about a week now from BC - the most recent book signing for "Under the Moonlit Sky". The trip was absolutely incredible. It was a success due to the efforts of some great colleagues, friends and of course family. I will remain forever grateful for your help.

It's been a while since I've blogged properly and there's something important that I want to touch upon tonight. Under the Moonlit Sky is my debut novel, yes. Under the Moonlit Sky employs several themes, yes. Under the Moonlit Sky can't be swept into one category, yes. However, at the end of the day we must realize that the horrid events of 1984 which saw pogroms against Sikhs carried out in a most systematic way - are mentioned in this novel. Not only are they mentioned, but key descriptions of these events are included so that the reader can gain a first hand look at that period.

How it felt to write in a first person narrative, through the eyes of a character that experiences those events, is something that I may never fully be able to explain in proper detail. All I can really say is that it affected me greatly and left me with a long-lasting impression that 1984 truly was a nightmare. It gave me sleepless nights where I would lay awake tormented by what innocent people experienced. And days where I didn't want to eat because I was so engrossed in the reports, and the stories of victims.

Now as I do PR - it's a weird experience I find at times. On the one hand Under the Moonlit Sky is many things. It's a coming of age story for the youth, it's a unique story for people that are not familiar with the events of 1984 in Punjab and Delhi. It explores the themes of identity, morality, ethics, friendships and loyalty among others.

On the other hand, it touches upon a sensitive subject: the 1984 pogroms against Sikhs. That year is probably one of the most eventful years in Indian history. So much happened that year from tensions reaching the climax between Punjab and the Central Government, to Operation Bluestar, to emergency states being claimed in the state of Punjab, International media blackouts, forced arrests, disappearances of countless people, Prime Minister Indira Gandhi's assassination to of course the violent aftermath where attacks against Sikhs were carried out in a span of a couple of days.

I went from spending a week talking non-stop about this year to coming back to Toronto and jumping back into my "usual routine" which is work and family. At first I was just very tired from my trip, because I hardly got any sleep. However, as the days progressed I began realizing that I felt some sort of withdrawal and sorrow. I began to feel the toll of those discussions which centered around discussing the horrific eye witness accounts of people in Delhi in November 1984.

Writing Under the Moonlit Sky was an effort built upon passion, dedication, and a real sense of need to write and share this story. I absolutely love writing and exploring the creative spirit. However, I must emphasize that 1984 is no easy period to write about.

I carry a heavy weight around with me, knowing each day that this story is inspired by the experiences of the victims of that year. I feel the sorrow inside of me, the pain of knowing that the violence I have described in Under the Moonlit Sky isn't entirely fiction...these things actually happened to innocent people; men, women, grandparents, children...

Some people say we must "forget '84' -- The discussion does not have to be about whether or not to forget. The discussion can be intelligent. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging someone's pain; acknowledging someone's loss, acknowledging someone's horrid nightmare. The discussion does not have to be heated or violent -- it can be compassionate towards the victims. A mother raped in front of her kids, a father burned alive before his family, a grandmother left to raise the babies and children hiding under dead bodies for a chance for survival. Acknowledging their pain, understanding this piece of history, isn't about drawing boundaries, it's about studying our history to try to prevent it from ever happening again. Isn't that what we are supposed to do as intelligent human beings?

I'm not entirely sure why I chose now to share this with all of you. I guess as Under the Moonlit Sky takes off, I just want you all to know that it does impact me very much. That yes there is this excitement about having my debut novel out there doing well. Yes it is a dream come true to be a published author, but it was no easy feat to write about, and it is no easy feat to discuss 1984. I have the utmost respect and admiration for the victims and families that were affected by the events of 1984 -- leading up to it, during it, and following it.

Although, I have spent much effort giving Under the Moonlit Sky a global appeal, ensuring that it touches upon various themes and issues that affect people, it is built upon a year that we must accept as a bitter truth -- it is a year when the very essence of humanity came into question. When the lines between sanity and insanity were blurred; when the balance between life and death depended on a simple thing called "identity".

-N